i no longer see what i do–the thinking and the writing–as theorizing.
because i readily see both the truth and the untruth of what i decide to put forth.
and what i put forth flies behind me at 100 mph.
and that is not a grandiose observation for the ages.
sometimes, if we’re really listening, and we want to communicate what we hear honestly, we have to abandon the usual words…
these words have a gravitational pull–as simone weil defines gravity–drawing us to them when we do not have the energy to fight the pull.
too much of the language that issues from us is mimesis and performance…because we believe that the meaningfulness of the communication lies in the words…
words like “Enlightenment”
and “in love”
…words that often appear next to superlatives of various kinds–important, holy, meaningful. these words are supposed to have energy. we sometimes choose these words because we experience things that are important, holy, meaningful…and we hang tight to that “supposed to” out of laziness.
we get lazy and dishonest.
for that reason, we sometimes feel just the smallest fear that we might be lying about what we see, feel, experience.
listening more carefully to the behavior and magnitude of our fear, especially when it is small enough to be almost unrecognizable as fear, could help.
i’m coming to like the word improbable more and more.
because for some, seeing Beauty isn’t about working hard, against or through.
their visions are Beautiful because they are rare, unlikely, precious.